Boylet Chronicles: A lady never makes the first move

This is a rather old entry I did but never posted. As you can see from the date, it was a looooooong time ago. Still, some of the lessons could still be used by others, I hope. The guy has long been forgotten and the memory has faded away. Read away....

041206

A lady the never makes the first move.

This rule has been drummed into my stubborn head too many times by the conservative society that I grew up in. But then again, it’s a rule I always chafed under. Now I’m desperately trying to resist the urge to make the first contact with the “guy”.

It’s nothing, really. Just a “hi!” or whatever “witty” nonsense I could conjure out of the hat. But it’s not a good idea. There’s nothing for us to talk about. And nothing for me to say to him , except, “Hey, you owe me P500.” For a disaster, I think I would just have to mark that as a loss. The money is still worth a big deal to a spendthrift like me but given the consequences, I think I could afford to lose that much.

So, how do I motivate myself not to ping him? I mean it’s harmless, right? It’s not as if I’m up to no good. But that’s just the problem. It almost always leads to that direction, though not because I want it to. Or maybe I do?

‘Sigh’. I think it would be more prudent to exercise more caution on my own. In my experience, men aren’t as smart in hiding their escapades as they think. (Just think of the bf.) The smartest thing that they do next is admit to it. Hahaha. Now that is a direction I don’t want him to take.

But it would be so tempting to use my considerable skills in retaliation to that disastrous outing. I mean the female in me wants to humiliate the guy but the romantic in me wants him to fall instead – with a great big “thud”! He would be a considerable opponent – with skills to match my own. That’s probably the reason why I fell flat on face the last encounter in the first place. It’s okay, he placed the blame squarely on his shoulders. But I don’t think he’s repented that much, much to my chagrin.

There are things going for me. He already has a notion that I rarely lie, especially with my emotions. He knows I’m candid and has the misfortune of being unable to refuse dares. But then he knows that I can selectively choose the facts that I disclose and the emotions that I show. Hmmm…… really tempting. I could really see how I could tweak this. This looks like a good match with a worthy adversary. But would it be a game I would be willing to play?

And what if I was too successful in making him fall for me? Would I be willing to break a relationship I helped create anyway? Would I be willing to break someone else’s heart? Would I be willing to make an enemy out of a friend? Would I want him anyway? What if I fell?

I have a very good relationship with the bf – someone I love very much. Would I throw that away simply because I could hardly resist this other one? Will I leave behind 5 years of a solid relationship for a temporary high? I don’t think these are questions I’m willing to face. Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.

Besides, in all the flings I’ve encountered, I always end up with an unexpected ego-prize ---- I end up being the one they can’t get out of their head. The one that got away. The one they still fantasize.

Maybe I should be happy with that.

Or maybe I should just make this into another story.

Maybe I will. That seems to be a more constructive course of action.

The Boylet Chronicles - Do's and Don'ts - Don't Get Caught

Let's admit it - there's something exciting about tempting fate, the thrill of getting away with something you shouldn't be doing, or be caught doing it. Remember the excitement of doing it in the most unexpected places and the danger of getting caught? Yeah, we've been there at least once in our lives. There's one rule you do have to remember - don't ever get caught!

What lies ahead when you do get caught? Oh, only embarrassment and a slew of other issues I'm sure you can do without. Like having to convince the guard or that unwanted audience to let you go. Getting a lecture from the police. Explaining to your friends why you couldn't wait to get a room. Or, heaven forbid, you're in a relationship and it becomes a deal breaker. Oh, the snickers, the knowing looks, the gossip behind your back, the embarrassment. Frankly, I'd rather not deal with all of those. It's hilarious on TV, not so in real life.

Yeah, we all like a little excitement. Believe me, I've done it in a car, at the office (a very long time ago), one of the dark corners of the campus (but I won't tell you where. LOL), the living room (while my sibling was sleeping in the other room) and in a hotel room with a bunch of friends (that earned the guy some dagger looks from me when the others were out of sight. No, they never suspected a thing. At least I hope so.). I can't say I didn't like it. It was something different from the usual stuff and the possibility of getting caught - but getting away with it - made those encounters very memorable (oh yes, very.) Remember trying not to let out that moan? The shushing and trying so hard to be quiet? (Oh, yessss.) Still, when the adrenaline and those feel-good hormones fade away, I wanted to smack my head for being stupid enough to take the risk.

I've been lucky enough not to get caught - so far. Well, I did - once. Coffee-break guy and I were chatting up a storm one night in campus when the guards shone a light in his car. Funny thing was, we weren't even doing anything but talk! Still, it was nice to learn that lesson early because I was more careful the next time. Make that a lot of next times. =)

'Sigh' Yes, I miss those days compared to my days of forced celibacy these days. Still, I'm glad I was careful because as far as the world knows, I'm this giggly, demure girl. (Boylets just know otherwise.)

The Boylet Chronicles - Do's and Don't's

I generally like most of the guys I dated before I met the eventual H and he all but laid his claim on me. This one boylet, who we can call Safari Guy, was cooky and sweet but managed to be awkward and so full of himself in one go. What happened between us could be a lesson on boylet do's and don'ts. Just because a girl is willing doesn't mean you have to take advantage of her. For goodness' sake, think about her pleasure as well.

I met SG during a trip a long, long time ago. He was the perfect summer fling. He was kinda cute and sweet so our group decided he was safe and we teased him mercilessly.

We hit off and became friends soon after. There was an underlying attraction but we ignored it. He decided I wasn't his type (I was too loud, kikay and Pinay for his taste) and I sensed that reluctance in him so I focused my energies on healing from a trauma which happened a few months before he met me and crushing on more unattainable, crush-ng-bayan type guys.

We soon became each other's sounding board on all teenage angsts under the sun. And because for some weird reason guys tell me almost everything - those bordering to too much information territory - we had some serious discussions about attraction and the opposite sex.

One day, while taking a walk around the campus after watching a movie, we sat down and just thought - what the heck - and kissed. It was everything awkward teenagers thought it would be - downright uncomfortable, wet and sloppy. Well, we both didn't know what to do but I sort of expected him to have a bit more finesse. For a sensitive guy he claimed to be, he sure couldn't read any of the cues I sent him.

So there's a do - do make sure you at least like the friend you're hooking up with. We did like each other. But that episode convinced me trying to explore our relationship was going to lead nowhere. And there's your don't - for goodness sake, at least know what you're doing first. Especially the basics. And kissing is basic. You still have to woo the girl with your skills. He thought it was in the bag. He thought wrong.

I had a friend who once told me (after a less than stellar performance from him) he thought he knew all there was to know about making love to a woman but he was wrong. I simply told him I hated doing all the work - so be a man, know how to make the woman happy and reap the rewards later. That's always a do.