Quiquay: quirks

One Night Stand by quiquay Date: 2003-03-17 15:22:45 Topic: Writings - Love Stories - Peyups ( an old essay I wrote a long time ago. Food for thought.) *************************************** "I want you”. The words sound simple enough and the meaning is clear. “I want you” – it denotes possession and claim. Its connotation is even clearer – desire. So simple and yet so complex. You want my body. It’s as simple as that. You wanted more. So it happened. And happened again and again and again. And each and every time you came and took and left again with nary a second glance my way. You may give but it was always on your terms and your terms alone. I always got left behind contemplating on the sanity of the situation. I was throwing my better judgment in the wind in search of something that left me feeling - empty. Empty. I stared at the wall for what seemed like hours after you left and felt – empty. A sacred act that supposedly expresses one’s feelings for one another felt like an

I couldn't access his Friendster page today. Wait a friggin' minute.... this is the buddy we're talking about. What do you mean I can't access his page? That has never been a problem before. All I wanted to do was see his latest pictures. (And yeah, catch a glimpse of the new girl in his life). I got a bit pissed. Then slightly hurt. ( Ganun? ) A juvenile issue, I know so I'm not likely to raise the issue to the guy since I don't think there's a point except I'm being a bit too selfish. ... And I miss him. A lot. I shouldn't, I know. It's not as if anything between us can go anywhere.... I'm as shackled as they come and I'm not likely to go anywhere. It these darned "what if's?" And the fact that I can't help but acknowledge I still care for the darned guy. It's not like I want to. I just can't help it. 'Sigh.' Okay, enough of the drama. I knew I had to let him go. Last Tuesday's talk was meant to be

... we had a chance back then? I hate what ifs ? and unfortunately, he was one big "if". I was attracted to him then, still am right now though that one is tempered with the knowledge that he would have been the wrong one for me. In some relationships, one sometimes reaches that time when both of you stand at the edge of the precipice. Either you jump and fall together with the guy or you chicken out and fall back. Well, sad to say I did the latter. Not that I chickened out but rather he read all the things we did wrong. Well, I was partly to blame because men - being men - sometimes lose things in translation. But enough of that time. I like the friendship we share and those rare moments that I had him all by myself. He was happy. He giggled a lot - a contradiction for such a masculine guy. Yet he giggled like a kid in glee. During those rare times I could be selfish and imagine the what ifs . I know I was being selfish, because I had a life - and a love - of my own and here

Sometimes I think the fates must be having a laugh courtesy of yours truly. In a truly bizarre twist in this girl's life, four very disparate parts of my life came tumbling down in within 24 hours. The fates conspired to have four former boylets give me a jolt and probably make life more interesting for them. Unfortunately, this girl has the weird ability to actually remain friends with the guys she jilted - or who left her, even if they sometimes act like jerks. Oh well, they'll have their uses one of these days. Still, for a new bride, this is almost as bad as two (or in this case, four) worlds colliding. Hahaha. (sarcasm intended) First, boylet #1, whom we'll call Giggles, made an appearance at the mall. Well, I actually had to meet him there because he asked a favor. Being the soft-hearted, guillible friend I was, I agreed to help him. Good of him to still drop me off the post office though, I thought he'd just run along. Though why he had to refer to a previous, lo