Brain Freeze
Ennui has set in.
Four months of fruitless job searching is starting to take its toll. I'm angsty, irritable and close to despair as the job websites feature precious little of the jobs I'm qualified. I knew beforehand how hard the jobmarket would be in this economy but sometimes you can't help but hope you'd be the exemption to the norm. Just my luck.
I can't help but wonder if my qualifications are lacking, I can't do the job or I just had the misfortune of meeting bosses who think that a diploma or the number of people handled are accurate measures of being a good leader. Maybe they are factors but I can't help wishing they could look beyond the obvious and look for someone more forward-thinking. (Yes, mainly me. =p, I'm allowed to be cheeky. It's my blog after all.)
I guess I'm just not happy being stuck at home right now although I know of a lot of people who would rather have my life. Well, it just goes to show how we humans just can't get no satisfaction. Well, I like that my office commute is just a flight of stairs 5 minutes after I wake up and I don't have a boss looking over my shoulder if I'm wasting company resources on Facebook. I don't like the stiffling midday heat and the lack of company though. But that's how it is.
I suppose I should feel lucky that I have several clients I receive a steady stream of work from. Not many people who lose their job have a fallback plan they can rely on while I had them simply waiting for my return. And somehow, when one source's volume starts going down, somehow one or another source picks up the slack. Sometimes I have too much work coming in I have to turn down some assignments.
I do feel lucky but the constant writing and thinking can sometimes take their toll. It isn't easy churning out insights and analysis all the time. And since I'm a social creature, cabin fever is a constant challenge. I am so desperate for company I chat with almost everybody I encounter - interviewers, interviewees, friends and sometimes even strangers. It doesn't help that the hubby is so mum about his work and is usually too tired to talk to me when he comes home at night. Now I so try to understand his side but being alone all day can drive one crazy.
Oh well. Unfortunately, this situation is predicted to last for a few more months so I'd have to wait for the right company that can finally afford to hire me (hahaha). In the meantime, I ought to focus my attentions to my freelance work. I guess as long as I can pay my share of the bills things are still all right. I do have a lot to be thankful.
Here's crossing my fingers it doesn't drive me nuts in the meantime. =)
Four months of fruitless job searching is starting to take its toll. I'm angsty, irritable and close to despair as the job websites feature precious little of the jobs I'm qualified. I knew beforehand how hard the jobmarket would be in this economy but sometimes you can't help but hope you'd be the exemption to the norm. Just my luck.
I can't help but wonder if my qualifications are lacking, I can't do the job or I just had the misfortune of meeting bosses who think that a diploma or the number of people handled are accurate measures of being a good leader. Maybe they are factors but I can't help wishing they could look beyond the obvious and look for someone more forward-thinking. (Yes, mainly me. =p, I'm allowed to be cheeky. It's my blog after all.)
I guess I'm just not happy being stuck at home right now although I know of a lot of people who would rather have my life. Well, it just goes to show how we humans just can't get no satisfaction. Well, I like that my office commute is just a flight of stairs 5 minutes after I wake up and I don't have a boss looking over my shoulder if I'm wasting company resources on Facebook. I don't like the stiffling midday heat and the lack of company though. But that's how it is.
I suppose I should feel lucky that I have several clients I receive a steady stream of work from. Not many people who lose their job have a fallback plan they can rely on while I had them simply waiting for my return. And somehow, when one source's volume starts going down, somehow one or another source picks up the slack. Sometimes I have too much work coming in I have to turn down some assignments.
I do feel lucky but the constant writing and thinking can sometimes take their toll. It isn't easy churning out insights and analysis all the time. And since I'm a social creature, cabin fever is a constant challenge. I am so desperate for company I chat with almost everybody I encounter - interviewers, interviewees, friends and sometimes even strangers. It doesn't help that the hubby is so mum about his work and is usually too tired to talk to me when he comes home at night. Now I so try to understand his side but being alone all day can drive one crazy.
Oh well. Unfortunately, this situation is predicted to last for a few more months so I'd have to wait for the right company that can finally afford to hire me (hahaha). In the meantime, I ought to focus my attentions to my freelance work. I guess as long as I can pay my share of the bills things are still all right. I do have a lot to be thankful.
Here's crossing my fingers it doesn't drive me nuts in the meantime. =)
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