Hanging by a Thread
I've been asking myself the same questions for months now, since my sister had an accident and now as my mother got diagnosed with cancer. My sister doesn't exactly have the best social skills and reputation so it was left to me to promise payment for most of what we borrowed. My father was still paying my brother's debts so he couldn't contribute much. My little sister sent what she could but it barely made a dent on the bill. And so, just to be able to take her home, we borrowed from everyone we could.
And so I thought I was making progress when I received news about my mother's health. As much as I was hoping it wasn't anything serious, fate dealt another blow when tests showed it was cancer - the aggressive kind. Never one to give up, I sought as much aid as I can but as I am discovering, there are just too many needy people.
I want to rant and rave at my brother and sister for their inability to meet their own needs but I realized that they aren't as lucky, nor as driven, as I am. As the H is wont to say, not everyone is like me. They really needed help at their times of crisis and family should be there for each other. Yes, I want to snarkily retort I wish they're there with me when I need them but I know it's hard to be of help when you need help yourself.
However, I refuse to give up. It is curable and it will be cured. I refuse to think of any other scenario. I will find more ways to make it possible for my mother to get her chemo. No other option except her recovering is acceptable.
So yes, I am hanging by a thread and I pray I make it. He's gotten me this far, I believe He will take us to the home stretch and get this C-thing beaten once and for all. He has to. Showtime, KrisTV and all those telenovelas my mother loves to watch are already driving me nuts. I want my life back too.
Actually, I just want my mother back to her old hale and healthy self.
Comments