Sorry seems to be the hardest word (cliche as it may seem)
It's another big fight night and as much as I want to understand where the other is coming from, I can't. He says he didn't get to eat dinner because I came home late. He knows I told him I was meeting a friend for coffee and will be home late. I came home an hour later than what I said I would because of the downpour. Maybe it was thoughtless of me to assume he would cope just fine but all I got when I got home was a guy who was mad because I wasn't the obedient wife who came home early when he wanted to. And telling me this was the third time I did it. This coming from a guy who was lecturing a bunch of singletons the other night about giving their partners space and freedom to pursue their own interests and meet other people.
Because I didn't want to make the situation worse, I held my own tongue and refrained from mentioning he left me all hungry just last night because he came home two hours late (and worse, there was no food at the house so he said he was bringing home dinner). I lost count how many times this happened. Oh, and what about the times he left me waiting for nothing because he slept ahead and wasted the month's cycle? Oh, just about every month in the past few years. The last time we did it? Oh, that was last year. The last time I was satisfied? Five effing years ago.
But I held my tongue and just walked away after mumbling my apologies. I didn't want it to get worse. After all, according to him I should be content with my lot. But I'm not. I was never meant, nor had any intentions, to be a meek hausfrau. Sometimes you just have to pick your fights. This is not it.
Boy, but for the first time, I didn't want to say sorry. I'm tired of having to subjugate my needs for his. Unfortunately, love teaches us that some sacrifices have to be made. And once more, it has to be me. I had been thoughtless. But for once, I would love to hear a sincere sorry from his end. Then again, sorry seems to be the hardest word to say.
Because I didn't want to make the situation worse, I held my own tongue and refrained from mentioning he left me all hungry just last night because he came home two hours late (and worse, there was no food at the house so he said he was bringing home dinner). I lost count how many times this happened. Oh, and what about the times he left me waiting for nothing because he slept ahead and wasted the month's cycle? Oh, just about every month in the past few years. The last time we did it? Oh, that was last year. The last time I was satisfied? Five effing years ago.
But I held my tongue and just walked away after mumbling my apologies. I didn't want it to get worse. After all, according to him I should be content with my lot. But I'm not. I was never meant, nor had any intentions, to be a meek hausfrau. Sometimes you just have to pick your fights. This is not it.
Boy, but for the first time, I didn't want to say sorry. I'm tired of having to subjugate my needs for his. Unfortunately, love teaches us that some sacrifices have to be made. And once more, it has to be me. I had been thoughtless. But for once, I would love to hear a sincere sorry from his end. Then again, sorry seems to be the hardest word to say.
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